Get attention from parents
Do parents spend more time reading to their smarter children? Playing favourites Smart kids get smarter because parents pay them more attention - at least in the US, new research suggests. Health economist Professor Paul Frijters, from the University of Queensland , and colleagues, report their findings in a recent issue of the journal Demography. Frijters says experts have long debated whether parents tend to invest more in children who are clever over those who are falling behind, or the other way around. However studies that try to compare the impacts of these so-called "Spartan" and "Samaratin" approaches to child rearing, face challenges, says Frijters. How, for example, do you measure the natural cognitive abilities of children prior to any parental input?
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: The Impact of Early Emotional NeglectContent:
- 6 Small Ways to Make Each of Your Kids Feel Special
- Attention Seeking Behavior: How to Gently, But Effectively, Stop it
- Teenagers on loneliness: ‘We want to talk to our parents. We need their guidance’
- Does your kid get jealous when you don’t give them all your attention?
- Infants Learn to Pay Attention (or Not) From Watching Mom and Dad
- Follow the Author
- How to Use Ignoring
- Why do children misbehave and act out?
- How to Improve Attention Spans
6 Small Ways to Make Each of Your Kids Feel Special
If you're saying, "Focus! My 5-year-old son, Walker, pays attention only when he wants to. I'm showing him how to make the letter "A" for what seems like the millionth time. I say, "Start at the top, go down, and make a line across. He fidgets and plays with his pencil. I keep pulling his attention back to what we're doing and my constant refrain is "Pay attention! He listens when I read his favorite books, and he listens to his swim teacher when she tells him to extend his arms to improve a stroke, but this is an exercise in frustration.
Child development experts say that, on average, a 4- or 5-year-old child should be able to stay focused on a task for two to five minutes times the year of their age. So, young kids should be able to focus between 4 and 20 minutes, possibly more, depending on the task. But this rule of thumb, just like any guideline for raising children, depends on the situation.
I tell [parents] that they will see a variation throughout the day. Attention span is elastic. How much attention a child gives a task also depends on whether he is enjoying himself. Many children struggle when asked to do something they don't want to do. Rojas explains. This is where the struggle lies for many parents, because kids entering school have to do more structured, repetitive, and academic tasks, such as writing their names or sounding out letters. Walker and I certainly bump heads on this a lot.
Some afternoons, I may want him to work on learning sight words but he'll want to crash his Matchbox cars together on the family room floor. Still, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. So a little creativity can go a long way in turning something dull into something fun.
Instead of insisting that my son write the letter "A" with a pencil in his workbook, I can ask him to write it with chalk, shape it with Play-Doh, or even trace it with paint on a big easel, says Mary Doty, a kindergarten teacher at Waimea Country School on the Big Island of Hawaii.
Use blocks to make the letter 'A. And parents should take time to notice small and interesting details in their surroundings, which shows a child how to pay attention. During a walk, parents can stop and point out the colors of flowers they see or talk about the shape and feel of the rocks they pick up. To get a child's attention, parents must also give attention.
Our attention is often scattered," Dr. Rojas says. Don't shout requests from the kitchen to the living room," Dr. Nickels says. Rojas says, "If I stop and look at my child and say, 'Hey, Alex, look at me. What do you need to be doing right now? Then, I'll say, 'Show me you know what you need to do. Parents should also be aware if something is getting in the way of a child paying attention.
Is she hungry or tired? To combat hunger or fatigue, give your child a snack before she starts homework or any structured task. Make sure the snack is a healthy one, rather than one loaded with sugar and fat. According to the Mayo Clinic, some smart choices include whole-grain pretzels, raw veggies dipped in fat-free dressing or hummus, yogurt, and peanut butter spread on a banana or apple.
A good night's sleep is important as well, so make sure your child is getting enough rest. And many kids need a little break when they come home from school. It helps us to come back and focus. If kids don't have downtime and they're overscheduled, they may plead for downtime through their behavior," Dr. If siblings distract each other, have them work in separate rooms. Betsy Hiatt, a mother of six in Olympia, Washington, knows the importance of kids paying attention.
Four of her youngest children are two sets of twins, ages 6 and 8. Her 6-year-old twins have difficulty paying attention in school and at home, but one of her 8-year-olds, who used to have a short attention span, is getting better as he matures. Her strategy is to set up regimented but separate routines. While one child is practicing the piano in the living room, another child is working on homework in a room next to the kitchen, yet another is eating a snack in the kitchen, and another is reading in a nook in the kitchen.
Although this strategy may seem a bit like musical chairs, it's working for Hiatt because she is able to give each child individual attention. Hiatt has her older twins help the younger two stay focused. She doesn't allow any of her children to watch TV or play on the computer until all of them are finished with their homework; this motivates them to help each other keep their minds on the tasks because they all want free time with the TV and computer games.
Even if though they don't seem like they are listening, they are. Children can tune out and stop paying attention when they think a task is too hard for them. They may need instructions broken into small steps, Dr. For example, instead of telling a child to clean his room, it might be better to say, "First, please pick up all of your Legos and then I'll come back and tell you what you need to do next.
Keep in mind that that giving short reminders is more positive and works better than long-winded explanations, yelling, or guilt tripping. And remember to praise the children's efforts. We say 'Great job, look what you can do.
That's wonderful. Research has also shown that exercise can help kids pay attention. A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention research review from revealed that elementary school children who took breaks from classwork to be active during the day could concentrate better on schoolwork. Other studies have reported that parents who make exercise a priority in their family life will have more physically active kids; parents should help their children find a sport they like, provide outdoors toys such as balls and jump ropes, and set aside time each day for activities such as going on a walk or riding a bike together.
Another way to encourage children to be more active is by limiting TV time, which can sap a young child's attention span. A study published in Pediatrics found that SpongeBob SquarePants and other fast-paced cartoons shortened the attention spans of 4-year-olds.
And kids under age 2 should not be exposed to any screen time and other entertainment media. Instead of turning on the TV or handing over the smartphone to your children, have them focus on other activities that will help increase attention spans. Children can read, work on a puzzle, help make dinner, build forts out of blocks and chairs, and help with household chores.
Just turning the TV off and having a conversation with a young child can build attention; when parents focus on their child and listen, they model how to pay attention. Recently, my husband said he would make a point of having conversations with Walker, a quiet middle child who can get lost in the shuffle because he's sandwiched between a talkative 8-year-old brother and a charming 2-year-old brother.
But sometimes, a child may have attention problems that are difficult to solve with simple strategies, and parents may need help from a teacher, pediatrician, or even a psychologist. Some red flags include a 4- or 5-year-old having consistent trouble engaging with anything for more than two or three minutes, needing constant guidance to do an activity that should be manageable, jumping from one activity to another, and being unable to control impulses.
For example, a preschooler may be unable to stay seated and attentive during reading time because he sees the classroom aide setting up snacks. Instead of staying in the circle, he may get up because he wants to eat a snack. It's important, though, that parents be careful about assuming their child has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ADHD , a syndrome usually diagnosed in early childhood that is characterized by impulsivity, overactivity, inattentiveness, or a combination of all three.
ADHD may not always be the root cause; there may be other influencing factors. A lot of children we see who come in for evaluation have underlying anxieties about not being perfect or not being able to do something," Dr. If a child is diagnosed with ADHD, parents should work with a mental health professional to develop a plan that will help increase a child's attention span.
Mental health issues, such as depression, anger, and anxiety, can make it difficult for children to focus, and young children need help learning how to cope with these feelings. Parents should talk with their children about how they are feeling and help them put their feelings into words.
For example, a parent could say, "You may be worried about Dad going away on a business trip. Now, with my own son, I have implemented some suggested strategies. He does his homework in a separate room with his dad, which allows my husband to give him undivided attention.
After being in school for several months, Walker is able to focus better and longer, and his kindergarten teacher has noticed and praised him for it. It's still not always easy for him to pay attention, but it is easier to pull his attention back to a task when it starts to wander. He still doesn't love writing, but he has learned to write the alphabet, a few words, and even some short sentences. Time works wonders. How to Improve Attention Spans. By Leslie Harris O'Hanlon.
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Attention Seeking Behavior: How to Gently, But Effectively, Stop it
Tantrums, whining, not listening, bedtime battles, power struggles. So why do kids really misbehave? To answer that question, we must first understand the root cause of those annoying, frustrating, maddening behaviors.
Attention from parents is very rewarding for children. Attention can be both positive and negative. Positive attention refers to things you do to let your child know you like something she did. You may find yourself giving attention to negative behaviors more than positive behaviors because you are rushed or in a hurry. But, for children, negative attention from you is still attention.
Teenagers on loneliness: ‘We want to talk to our parents. We need their guidance’
Perhaps you too notice differences between the way you were raised and the way you are raising your child? Our responses to these questions will be varied and possibly bring up many emotions. On the other hand, parenting this way may come easily if you are keen to give your child a different experience to your own. If your parents were attentive to your thoughts and feelings and gave love and praise, you may find parenting this was comes naturally. One thing is certain, parenting has certainly changed dramatically in past generations and much research has been done in the area of childhood development. In past generations, the importance of touch, attention, hugging and praise was not widely known. Parents were likely bringing their children up in a way that was accepted at the time or what they thought was best or in the best way they could at the time. A common misconception was that praising a child too much will spoil them or give them an over-inflated ego. Praising your child for being good will make them want to be good, and it will help them feel good about themselves.
Does your kid get jealous when you don’t give them all your attention?
A mom recently shared her concerns about the way her seven-year-old daughter behaves when she or her husband divert their attention towards other children. So, it stands to reason that the behaviours the mom described—pulling at her sleeve to get her attention or asking her parents if they like the other child more than her—are related to feelings of jealousy. Although most parents worry about not giving their children enough attention, giving too much attention which is more likely to happen when you have just one child has its drawbacks too. This is amplified if the child is the first grandchild in the family. This only child, lucky to be showered with so much love and attention, learns to expect this all of the time.
Found: Simple but powerful ways to ensure all of your children feel like a VIP. Parenthood is the ultimate juggling act, and at no time is that more clear than when you're trying to spread your time and attention among your children. Striking this delicate balance involves satisfying the needs of each kid while at the same making sure no one feels left out. It's a worthwhile endeavor.
Infants Learn to Pay Attention (or Not) From Watching Mom and Dad
The bit about Snapchat might be true. The rest, though, are questionable stereotypes, extrapolated into facts. First, the epidemic, widely reported in the media over recent months.
If you're saying, "Focus! My 5-year-old son, Walker, pays attention only when he wants to. I'm showing him how to make the letter "A" for what seems like the millionth time. I say, "Start at the top, go down, and make a line across. He fidgets and plays with his pencil.
Follow the Author
We all live busy, stressful lives and have endless concerns as parents, but it is clear that one of the most important things we need to do is to stop and give our kids a big loving squeeze. Research over the past decade highlights the link between parental affection in childhood and health and happiness in the future. Science supports the idea that warmth and affection expressed by parents to their children results in life-long positive outcomes for those children, according to Child Trends , the leading nonprofit research organization in the United States focused on improving the lives and prospects of children, youth, and their families. Higher self esteem, improved academic performance, better parent-child communication, and fewer psychological and behavior problems have been linked to this type of affection. On the other hand, children who do not have affectionate parents tend to have lower self esteem and to feel more alienated, hostile, aggressive, and antisocial. In , researchers at Duke University Medical School found that babies with very affectionate and attentive mothers grow up to be happier , more resilient, and less anxious adults. The study involved approximately people who were followed from when they were infants until they were in their 30s.
You ask once… you ask again… maybe you offer to help or ask them to choose what shoes they want to wear for the day. Maybe you tell them more forcefully to get their shoes on. As your frustration rises, so does your voice.
How to Use Ignoring
Every day millions of parents take their children into public settings with no issues at all. Their children stand out for their polite manners and quiet demeanor. Then there are parents that face the constant battle of trying to rein their children in for bringing attention to themselves for all of the wrong reasons. What if I told you that you are not alone?
Why do children misbehave and act out?
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How to Improve Attention Spans