What to look out for in a woman before marrying her
Sipping my coffee, I grin over the lip of the mug. Before my wife ever gave me the time of day, she de-friended me on Facebook over the fact my profile photo creeped her out. We tell that story often when people ask how we met, but what most young couples want to know is how we continue to keep the flame lit in our marriage. I look up date ideas on the internet and my wife is the polar opposite of me regarding cleaning. These days we help mentor couples looking to get married as well as provide counseling and recovery to individuals.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 5 ESSENTIAL Qualities a Guy Should Look for in a Godly Woman BEFORE You Marry her
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: The person you really need to marry - Tracy McMillan - TEDxOlympicBlvdWomenContent:
- 8 Things Every Woman Should Do Before Getting Married
- 10 qualities you must look out for in a partner before marriage
- 10 Things Men Need to Know Before Marrying a Woman
- The 3 Most Important Things To Know Before You Ever Consider Getting Married
- 10 Things Every Couple Should Do Before Getting Married
- 10 Things To Look For In A Wife
- 5 (Financial) Things to Consider Before Later-in-Life Marriage
- Marriage in modern China
- Forced marriage
8 Things Every Woman Should Do Before Getting Married
Forced marriage is a marriage in which one or more of the parties is married without their consent or against their will. A marriage can also become a forced marriage even if both parties enter with full consent if one or both are later forced to stay in the marriage against their will. A forced marriage differs from an arranged marriage , in which both parties presumably consent to the assistance of their parents or a third party such as a matchmaker in finding and choosing a spouse.
There is often a continuum of coercion used to compel a marriage, ranging from outright physical violence to subtle psychological pressure. The United Nations views forced marriage as a form of human rights abuse , since it violates the principle of the freedom and autonomy of individuals. The Supplementary Convention on the Abolition of Slavery also prohibits marriage without right to refuse of herself [ discuss ] out of her parents', family's and other persons' will  and requires the minimum age for marriage to prevent this.
In , the first United Nations Human Rights Council resolution against child , early, and forced marriages was adopted; the resolution recognizes child, early, and forced marriage as involving violations of human rights which "prevents individuals from living their lives free from all forms of violence and that has adverse consequences on the enjoyment of human rights, such as the right to education, [and] the right to the highest attainable standard of health including sexual and reproductive health", and also states that "the elimination of child, early and forced marriage should be considered in the discussion of the post development agenda.
Arranged marriages were very common throughout the world until the 18th century. The actual practices varied by culture, but usually involved the legal transfer of dependency of the woman from her father to the groom. The movement towards emancipation of women in the 19th and 20th centuries led to major changes to marriage laws , especially in regard to property and economic status. By the midth century, many Western countries had enacted legislation establishing legal equality between spouses in family law.
An arranged marriage is not the same as a forced marriage: in the former, the spouse has the possibility to reject the offer; in the latter, they do not. The line between arranged and forced marriage is however often difficult to draw, due to the implied familial and social pressure to accept the marriage and obey one's parents in all respects. In Europe, during the late 18th century and early 19th century, the literary and intellectual movement of romanticism presented new and progressive ideas about love marriage , which started to gain acceptance in society.
In the 19th century, marriage practices varied across Europe, but in general, arranged marriages were more common among the upper class. Arranged marriages were the norm in Russia before early 20th century, most of which were endogamous.
Child marriages are often considered to be forced marriages, because children especially young ones are not able to make a fully informed choice whether or not to marry, and are often influenced by their families. In Western countries, during the past decades, the nature of marriage—especially with regard to the importance of marital procreation and the ease of divorce —has changed dramatically, which has led to less social and familial pressure to get married, providing more freedom of choice in regard to choosing a spouse.
Historically, forced marriage was also used to require a captive slave or prisoner of war to integrate with the host community, and accept their fate. One example is the English blacksmith John R.
Jewitt , who spent three years as a captive of the Nootka people on the Pacific Northwest Coast in — He was ordered to marry, because the council of chiefs thought that a wife and family would reconcile him to staying with his captors for life.
Jewitt was given a choice between forced marriage for himself and capital punishment for both him and his "father" a fellow captive. Forced marriage was also practiced by authoritarian governments as a way to meet population targets. The Khmer Rouge regime in Cambodia systematically forced people into marriages, in order to increase the population and continue the revolution. These marriage ceremonies consisted of no fewer than three couples and could be as large as couples.
Generally, the village chief or a senior leader of the community would approach both parties and inform them that they were to be married and the time and place the marriage would occur. Often, the marriage ceremony would be the first time the future spouses would meet. Parents and other family members were not allowed to participate in selecting the spouse or to attend the marriage ceremony.
The Khmer Rouge maintained that parental authority was unnecessary because it "w[as] to be everyone's 'mother and father. Raptio is a Latin term referring to the large scale abduction of women , kidnapping either for marriage or enslavement particularly sexual slavery. The practice is surmised to have been common since anthropological antiquity. In the 21st century, forced marriages have come to attention in European countries, within the context of immigration from cultures in which they are common.
The Istanbul Convention prohibits forced marriages see Article The Supplementary Convention on the Abolition of Slavery, the Slave Trade, and Institutions and Practices Similar to Slavery defines "institutions and practices similar to slavery" to include: .
The Council of Europe Convention on preventing and combating violence against women and domestic violence , also known as the Istanbul Convention, states: . Parties shall take the necessary legislative or other measures to ensure that marriages concluded under force may be voidable, annulled or dissolved without undue financial or administrative burden placed on the victim.
There are numerous factors which can lead to a culture which accepts and encourages forced marriages. Reasons for performing forced marriages include: strengthening extended family links; controlling unwanted behavior and sexuality; preventing 'unsuitable' relationships; protecting and abiding by perceived cultural or religious norms; keeping the wealth in the extended family; dealing with the consequences of pregnancy out of wedlock; considering the contracting of a marriage as the duty of the parents; obtaining a guarantee against poverty; aiding immigration.
Early and forced marriages can contribute to girls being placed in a cycle of poverty and powerlessness. Most are likely to experience mistreatment such as violence, abuse and forced sexual relations.
This means that women who marry younger in age are more likely to be dominated by their husbands. They also experience poor sexual and reproductive health. Young married girls are more likely to contract HIV and their health could be in jeopardy.
Most people who are forced into a marriage lack education and are often illiterate. Young ones tend to drop out of school shortly before they get married. Depending by jurisdiction, a forced marriage may or may not be void or voidable. Victims may be able to seek redress through annulment or divorce. In England and Wales , the Matrimonial Causes Act stipulates that a forced marriage is voidable.
Forced marriages are often related to violence, both in regard to violence perpetrated inside the marriage domestic violence , and in regard to violence inflicted in order to force an unwilling participant to accept the marriage, or to punish a refusal in extreme cases women and girls who do not accept the marriage are subjected to honor killings.
The traditional customs of dowry and bride price contribute to the practice of forced marriage. Marriage by abduction, also known as bride kidnapping, is a practice in which a man abducts the woman he wishes to marry.
Marriage by abduction has been practiced throughout history around the world and continues to occur in some countries today, particularly in Central Asia , the Caucasus and parts of Africa. A girl or a woman is kidnapped by the groom-to-be, who is often helped by his friends. The victim is often raped by the groom-to-be, for her to lose her virginity , so that the man is able to negotiate a bride price with the village elders to legitimize the marriage. A forced marriage is also often the result of a dispute between families, where the dispute is 'resolved' by giving a female from one family to the other.
Vani is a cultural custom found in parts of Pakistan wherein a young girl is forcibly married as part of the punishment for a crime committed by her male relatives. Widow inheritance, also known as bride inheritance, is a cultural and social practice whereby a widow is required to marry a kinsman of her late husband, often his brother. It is prevalent in certain parts of Africa. In conflict areas, women and girls are sometimes forced to marry men on either side of the conflict.
Historically, this was common throughout the world, with women from the communities of the war enemy being considered "spoils of war", who could be kidnapped, raped and forced into marriage or sexual slavery. Forced marriage can occur in the situation where in an unmarried couple, one partner forces through violence or threats the other partner to enter the marriage.
Ending a forced marriage may be extremely difficult in many parts of the world. For instance, in parts of Africa, one of the main obstacles for leaving the marriage is the bride price. Once the bride price has been paid, the girl is seen as belonging to the husband and his family. If she wants to leave, the husband may demand back the bride price that he had paid to the girl's family. The girl's family often cannot or does not want to pay it back.
UK citizens escaping forced marriage abroad are forced to pay their repatriation costs or get into debt. This makes escaping a forced marriage harder.
Abu Hurairah reported Muhammad as saying "A woman who has been previously married should not be married until her permission is asked nor should a virgin be married without her permission. It appears that the permission of an under-age bride is indeed necessary for her marriage to be considered valid.
The above narrations seem to clearly make the approval of the bride a condition for a valid marriage contract. The contract of an Islamic marriage is concluded but not excluding the bride between the guardian wali of the bride and bridegroom, not between bridegroom and bride but her permission is still necessary.
The guardian wali of the bride can only be a free Muslim. A shotgun wedding is a form of forced marriage occasioned by an unplanned pregnancy. Some religions and cultures consider it a moral imperative to marry in such a situation, based on reasoning that premarital sex or out-of-wedlock births are sinful, not sanctioned by law, or otherwise stigmatized. The term "shotgun wedding" is an American colloquialism , though it is also used in other parts of the world.
It is based on a hyperbolic scenario in which the pregnant or sometimes only "deflowered" female's father resorts to coercion such as threatening with a shotgun to ensure that the male partner who caused the pregnancy goes through with it, sometimes even following the man to the altar to prevent his escape. The use of violent coercion to marry was never legal in the United States , although many anecdotal stories and folk songs record instances of such intimidation in the 18th and 19th centuries.
Purposes of the wedding include recourse from the male for the act of impregnation and to ensure that the child is raised by both parents as well as to ensure that the woman has material means of support. In some cases, a major objective was the restoring of social honor to the mother. Shotgun weddings have become less common as the stigma associated with out-of-wedlock births has gradually faded and the number of such births has increased; the increasing availability of birth control and abortion , as well as material support to unwed mothers, such as Elterngeld , child benefits , parental leave , and free kindergartens have reduced the perceived need for such measures.
Forced marriage is prevalent in Madagascar. Girls are married off by their families, and often led to believe that if they refuse the marriage they will be " cursed ".
According to Human Rights Watch, Malawi has "widespread child and forced marriage" and half of the girls marry before Wife inheritance is also practiced in Malawi. After marriage, wives have very limited rights and freedoms; and general preparation of young girls for marriage consists in describing their role as that of being subordinated to the husband.
Forced marriage in Mauritania takes three principal forms: forced marriage to a cousin known as maslaha ; forced marriage to a rich man for the purpose of financial gain; and forced polygamous marriage to an influential man. In a law went into effect known as the Hakkaoui law because Bassima Hakkaoui drafted it; among other things it includes a ban on forced marriage. But it was criticized for requiring victims to file for criminal prosecution to get protection. Forced marriage is common in Niger.
Niger has the highest prevalence of child marriage in the world;   and also the highest total fertility rate. Chaibou was 12 when she was informed by her own mother that she was to be married to her cousin, and when she was 16, she took to the courts. With little success, Chaibou was forced to a women's shelter before she was finally able to go home where she learned of her parents changed views on forced marriage, that they were now against it.
In South Africa, ukuthwala is the practice of abducting young girls and forcing them into marriage, often with the consent of their parents. In Tanzania, the practices of forced marriage and child marriage impacts the human rights and childhood of girls. Oftentimes, girls are married off as soon as they hit puberty, which can be as young as seven years old.
Child brides endure forced sex, causing health risks and growth impediments. Married and pregnant students are often discriminated against, and expelled and excluded from school.
10 qualities you must look out for in a partner before marriage
Here, I will describe some of the common red flags that unhappily married male clients recount when recalling their courtship, and what they wish they would have taken more seriously before deciding to marry their wives. Please leave your comments! This post was originally published here on Dr.
Move over, June. Fall is one of the most popular times of the year to get married , with couples increasingly tying the knot in September or October to take advantage of the beautiful weather. Fall is "truly the new wedding season," Brides magazine has declared. If you're engaged, in love and preparing for the big day, how do you know you're really ready for married life? Not necessarily, said Liz Higgins , a licensed marriage and family therapist in Dallas, Texas, who offers premarital counseling and specializes in millennial couples.
10 Things Men Need to Know Before Marrying a Woman
Forced marriage is a marriage in which one or more of the parties is married without their consent or against their will. A marriage can also become a forced marriage even if both parties enter with full consent if one or both are later forced to stay in the marriage against their will. A forced marriage differs from an arranged marriage , in which both parties presumably consent to the assistance of their parents or a third party such as a matchmaker in finding and choosing a spouse. There is often a continuum of coercion used to compel a marriage, ranging from outright physical violence to subtle psychological pressure. The United Nations views forced marriage as a form of human rights abuse , since it violates the principle of the freedom and autonomy of individuals. The Supplementary Convention on the Abolition of Slavery also prohibits marriage without right to refuse of herself [ discuss ] out of her parents', family's and other persons' will  and requires the minimum age for marriage to prevent this. In , the first United Nations Human Rights Council resolution against child , early, and forced marriages was adopted; the resolution recognizes child, early, and forced marriage as involving violations of human rights which "prevents individuals from living their lives free from all forms of violence and that has adverse consequences on the enjoyment of human rights, such as the right to education, [and] the right to the highest attainable standard of health including sexual and reproductive health", and also states that "the elimination of child, early and forced marriage should be considered in the discussion of the post development agenda. Arranged marriages were very common throughout the world until the 18th century. The actual practices varied by culture, but usually involved the legal transfer of dependency of the woman from her father to the groom. The movement towards emancipation of women in the 19th and 20th centuries led to major changes to marriage laws , especially in regard to property and economic status.
The 3 Most Important Things To Know Before You Ever Consider Getting Married
But do you know all there is to know about her? Take the time to learn as much as you can before you head out to buy that engagement ring. Every man should know these things before marrying a woman. How an individual handles personal finances can make or break a relationship. Her poor money choices could put you both in a bind, especially if you plan to purchase a home together.
Marriage in China has undergone change during the country's reform and opening period, especially because of new legal policies like the New Marriage Law of and the Family planning policy in place from to However, both parental and cultural pressures are still placed on many individuals, especially women, to choose socially and economically advantageous marriage partners. Traditionally, marriage life was based on the principles of the Confucian ideology. The segregation of females and the education of males were cultural practices which separated the two sexes, as men and women would occupy different spheres after marriage.
10 Things Every Couple Should Do Before Getting Married
Gone are the days when parents go all the way to know the family history of who their child is getting married to but that does not mean people no longer research into or get to know their partner before getting married. In recent time, only few people believe in parents match-making their children, as the youths prefer to personally meet the man or the lady they intend spending the rest of their lives with. This would enable them study each other's character so they know if they are compatible or not.
If you are dating with marriage in mind , it is important to look for qualities that would make a woman a good wife. You want to look for certain characteristics that will benefit your relationship in the long term. Search past the physical attributes you find very attractive and your undeniable chemistry. Not every woman would make a good spouse or a good spouse for you. If you want to get married, it's important to look for qualities that show that the woman you are dating is capable of being alone, strong, and responsible. Of course, you will also need to play your part and have these qualities yourself.
10 Things To Look For In A Wife
When two people marry later in life, there are more items to sort through than just wedding gifts. Marriage between two people with longer histories involves important decisions concerning finances, children, assets, housing, retirement, and more. Older couples have had more time to become accustomed to their own personal habits and money management styles. They've also had more time to accumulate significant assets. This can make it a little harder to merge finances, especially when one partner is a spender and the other is more thrifty—or when one partner has considerably more resources than the other. If either partner has young children from a previous relationship, this will also introduce a set of issues to discuss, such as the payment or receipt of child support and possibly alimony. Even when there are adult children, there are issues of inheritance to clarify.
5 (Financial) Things to Consider Before Later-in-Life Marriage
Marriage in modern China