How to help your boyfriend overcome depression
No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness or depression enters the equation. I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression. Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode during our relationship, my partner was at a loss. He had never dealt with this and wanted so badly to help, but had no idea what to do. Sure we hit bumps along the road, but in the end I felt loved, supported, and understood in a way I never had before during a depressive episode, and he felt like he knew what was going on—a big deal in this situation—and was equipped to deal with it.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Living Through Depression: Julia's Story
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 10 Tips for Staying Sane When Your Partner is DepressedContent:
7 ways to help if your boyfriend is suffering from mental health problems
During Men's Health Week, here's how you can help if a man in your life is suffering with depression and anxiety. But what should you do if your boyfriend or husband is suffering from mental health problems? A key warning sign that your boyfriend is dealing with depression or anxiety is him shutting down communication.
Not every conversation has to be about how he is feeling, as that can feel claustrophobic. When your boyfriend recognises that you can communicate without any pressure, he may confide in you more often. It is important to generate open and relaxed conversation with your loved one.
On a good day, your boyfriend may want to speak openly and frankly about his feelings, but on other days, he may just say a few words or seem very defensive. If you pressure him, he will withdraw and not answer at all.
You may not even need to speak, a hug can sometimes say far more than a list of questions. With male sufferers of mental health problems — namely depression or anxiety — angry and irrational outbursts are common. Try your best not to take it personally if this happens, and remember that his behaviour may very well be irrational, but is caused by an underlying issue and not directly by you. If your boyfriend has confided in you, he has made a leap into the unknown.
It requires extreme bravery for anyone to speak out about how they are feeling, because most of us have some sense of fear about how other people will judge us for it. While you might feel uncomfortable dealing with these topics and could be tempted to ask advice of friends, it is important to respect that he has trusted you and may not wish to broadcast these feelings to others.
When dealing with depression or anxiety, a key symptom is a skewed sense of reality. Subtle reminders such as writing notes or complimenting him will go a long way. When depressed, the smallest of tasks can seem enormous, even getting out of bed. Even something like making dinner will take a huge amount of weight from his shoulders.
Reassure your boyfriend that you love him, that he is worthy of support, and no less of a man to accept help. Therapy is rapidly growing in popularity with both men and women especially because of online platforms like PlusGuidance , and you and your boyfriend might see the benefit in him talking to a therapist who is qualified specifically to deal with depression and anxiety. Therapy also offers a confidential space where your boyfriend can get support from a professional and objective source.
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How to Deal with a Depressed Spouse
It can be quite challenging to help a loved one through depression. When this person is your boyfriend, you will feel your own emotional pain. Your boyfriend may be angry and lash out at you often. He may even try to withdraw from you completely.
If you are in a relationship with someone who has depression, you are likely struggling with a mix of emotions and hosts of questions. What's it really like to feel depressed? What can you do to help them through hard times? How will their symptoms and treatment impact your relationship? While every person's experience with depression is unique, here are a few things you can do to help your loved one and yourself.
Supporting a partner with depression
Depression builds walls around people and between people. When someone you love has been dragged inside those walls, there can be a distance between you both that feels relentless. Not in the way you both want to be anyway. The symptoms of depression exist on a spectrum. Not everyone who has depression will have a formal diagnosis, so knowing what to watch out for can help to make sense of the changes you might notice. Depression looks like a withdrawal. It feels that way too.
Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together
Home Mental Health Depression. Every product is independently selected by our editors. If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission. This illness erodes emotional and sexual intimacy and suffuses a relationship with pessimism and resentment, anger and isolation, she explains.
You love your boyfriend very much, and you want to always be there for him. When he is going through a bout of depression, it isn't always easy to understand what you should do. When someone that you care about is having a tough time, it's normal to want to be able to snap them out of it. Depression is not always a simple matter, though.
Depression in Men
Karen S. She no longer enjoyed her favorite activities, preferring to spend weekends sleeping in and watching TV. Their sex life was nonexistent.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Help a Depressed Friend or Partner
Standing on the sidelines when a partner battles depression can feel like a helpless experience. You might feel confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed. You are not alone. Depression is an isolating illness that can negatively impact relationships and leave loved ones feeling helpless and afraid. The mood in major depression is often described as sad, hopeless, discouraged, or feeling down, but it can also include persistent anger.
Tips for Coping With Depression in a Relationship
I suffer from depression myself and I know how tough it can be. But I want to talk to the partners - the people living with the people who are living with depression. It can make them say and do things that you just don't understand. I spent three years talking to more than people about their experiences with love, sex, and depression for my book, The Monster Under The Bed. These are their tips.
When your spouse has depression , you might be very worried, and feel utterly helpless. After all, depression is a stubborn, difficult illness. Your partner might seem detached or deeply sad. They might seem hopeless and have a hard time getting out of bed.
Being in a romantic relationship when one or both of you suffer from depression is a massive challenge. Depression can make your partner seem distant. None of that means your relationship is the problem.
Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.
During Men's Health Week, here's how you can help if a man in your life is suffering with depression and anxiety. But what should you do if your boyfriend or husband is suffering from mental health problems? A key warning sign that your boyfriend is dealing with depression or anxiety is him shutting down communication. Not every conversation has to be about how he is feeling, as that can feel claustrophobic. When your boyfriend recognises that you can communicate without any pressure, he may confide in you more often.