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Meet girlfriend or boyfriend > 18 years > How to get a quiet guy to open up

How to get a quiet guy to open up

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How do I get him to talk about feelings? I admit that this is something I need to learn more about myself. The truth is that I want him to be more chatty, able to traverse multiple topics at once and more open to share his feelings. In other words, I want my man to be more like a woman. We women make that mistake often; expecting our men to act like women. As Ben discusses, they are more open to connecting on a real emotional level, you just may have to teach them how.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 3 Ways To Get a Shy Person to OPEN UP and TALK MORE

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Get A Shy Guy To Ask You Out On A Date

6 Ways to Get Him to Talk About Feelings (Advice from a Dude!)

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Shy people are very guarded in social situations. They tend to avoid social interaction and are reluctant to share personal information. This can be frustrating to friends and family who want a deeper connection and potential new friends looking to create a bond. To show your interest physically, try matching his intensity and mirroring subtle movements, like leaning in or crossing your legs.

For more help from our co-author, like how to make the conversation more personal, scroll down! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in There are 26 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Explore this Article Breaking the Ice.

Externalizing his Attention. Self-Disclosing to Create an Emotional Connection. Taking the Conversation Online. Understanding Introversion. Show 2 more Show less Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1 of Make the first move. Shy people want social interaction, but are often anxious or afraid. Approach him casually. A formal introduction may make him nervous and more self-conscious.

If you are in an unfamiliar place, try approaching him and telling him you're glad to see someone familiar there. If you haven't had much contact in the past, explain where you know him from.

Ask a question about the surroundings, request help, or make a general statement about the immediate situation. This will ease him into conversation. Ask open-ended questions to prevent him from slipping into a pattern of providing yes or no answers and provide opportunity for follow up questions.

It will make keeping the conversation going easier. For example, you might ask him, "What project did you come up with for class? Match his intensity and adopt a similar posture. This will demonstrate your interest without being perceived as aggressive. Mirroring also increases the sense of connection and helps to speed the development of rapport. Outright copying may be received negatively.

Watch his body language. If your guy is really shy, he may not even feel comfortable telling you if he's not comfortable with the conversation. Watch his body language to see if he seems comfortable and relaxed, or nervous and tense. If his arms are relaxed and hang by his sides, he probably feels pretty chill.

If his body is angled away from you, it's a sign he'd probably like to get away from the conversation. If his body is angled toward you including his feet , he's probably interested in staying put. If his movements are jerky or tense, he's probably not comfortable. If his movements are fairly smooth and fluid, he's probably feeling all right. If he's making consistent eye contact, he's likely interested in continuing the conversation. If his glance darts away or seems unfocused, he's probably feeling uncomfortable.

Transition the conversation to the personal, slowly. The conversation should start superficially and gradually become more personal to allow him to manage his discomfort. Asking questions about what he thinks or feels about the topic of conversation is an easy way to ease into the personal, without becoming too intimate.

To subtly shift the conversation to the personal, ask "what interested you about the project? Method 2 of Focus on the external. Shy people tend to focus on the self and feelings of inadequacy.

Feelings of shame will increase shyness. Keep the focus on the external until the conversation feels natural, and he becomes more animated. Shy people are very self-aware and often avoid making large hand motions and facial expressions in uncomfortable conversations. Increased use of gestures and facial expressions may be an indication of decreased self-awareness.

Getting too personal too quickly may cause him to become overwhelmed and emotionally detach. Engage him in activity. This is particularly useful when the conversation doesn't feel very natural. Working on something together will establish a structured flow of communication, reducing the pressure of figuring out what to say and when.

Playing a game is a great way to focus attention externally. For example, you might ask, "Do you want to play a game to help pass the time? If he recommends a different game, don't worry about not knowing how to play. Instructing you how to play the game is a great opportunity for him to become comfortable with the dialogue. Transition the conversation to the personal. Only attempt this after the communication becomes more natural and maintaining conversation requires less effort.

You'll know you've reached this point when you realize the conversation has been flowing for several minutes without thinking about how to keep him talking. A good question to get him talking about himself is "How do you like to spend your free time? If he seems resistant, revert to the external and try to transition again after he appears comfortable again.

If you haven't been able to make the transition after a few attempts, tell him you've really enjoyed the activity and schedule another a time to play again. This will give him additional time to become comfortable with your interactions. Method 3 of Share increasingly personal information about yourself.

By demonstrating you trust him enough to make yourself vulnerable, he may begin to feel safe in the conversation. Share your interests or thoughts, at first. You might start by sharing how you spend your free time. After you've shared factual information, you should move to disclosing emotional information to establishing an emotional connection. If he still seems nervous or uncomfortable, don't rush into talking about your emotions too quickly. You can start small, with something positive, such as "I saw this great movie the other week and it left me feeling happy for days.

Disclose your nervousness in the situation. In addition to being an emotional disclosure, this will reduce his worry he is the only person to experience social anxiety.

For example, you can tell him, "I was really nervous to come talk to you. If you get the sense a compliment might embarrass him, you can explain sometimes you feel anxious approaching people. Avoid jumping into an admission of your undying affection; it will likely be too much too soon.

He may become so uncomfortable he withdraws. Ask for appropriate levels of disclosure on his part. Always respect his boundaries and don't expect too much. The goal is to get him to start disclosing; you likely won't get him to reveal his deepest darkest secrets in a day, but this will help to progress levels of intimacy.

Try asking for disclosures about how he feels in the situation. This is a less serious question than asking how he feels about you or the friendship. A good way to get him to connect with his feelings, without overwhelming him, is to ask "How comfortable are you right now? Method 4 of

5 Ways to Get Your Guy to Open Up

Dating advice is outside the scope of this site, with this article being a semi-exception. Over the years several women have written me to tell me reading this site has helped them understand the actions of a shy guy they were pursuing. With that in mind I thought I'd try to be even more helpful and write a whole article outlining what it's like to be a man who's really shy and inexperienced with women. At the end I give a few thoughts on what to do if there's a shy guy in your life you're interested in.

Shy people are very guarded in social situations. They tend to avoid social interaction and are reluctant to share personal information.

Sound familiar? In a recent poll, 42 percent of iVillage visitors say that they have a hard time getting their partner to share his feelings. When that happens, she feels shut out and he feels misunderstood. But in my years as a therapist and author, I've discovered something that many women don't realize.

💋 How to get a quiet guy to open up. 9 Proven Ways To Get Your Man To Emotionally Open Up To You

Though shy men take longer to open up in relationships, they may offer deeper connections. Shy men are often empathetic and good listeners, says Indiana University Southeast psychology professor Bernardo Carducci on the "Psychology Today" website. Be ready to step back if you feel he is uncomfortable. Shy men need to know that you like them. Although you might think that your feelings are obvious, a shy guy is more apt to question your view of him, because his own self-view is often negative and critical. Shy individuals spend a good deal of time thinking badly about themselves, asserts Carducci. One way to let a shy man know how you feel would be to offer a compliment, recommends the Shyness Research Institute.

5 secrets of getting a man to open up

But the era of the man bun has ushered in a willingness on the part of guys to be less guarded. Here, some methods to get his lips moving. When was the last time your boyfriend bonded with his buddies over a quiet dinner? Sustained eye contact can also cause confusion.

Remember, guys think showing any kind of weakness and yes, he thinks sharing his emotions are a weakness will make you think less of him.

Women have always been intrigued by quiet, mysterious types. They wonder about their deep thoughts and private lives, and long to be their one special confidante. Getting to know a shy guy and gain his trust can lead to an exciting and rewarding relationship.

How to Get a Shy Guy to Like You and Ask You Out

I get tons of emails asking me about flirting tips for women and especially how to get a shy guy to come out of his shell. Well, with a shy guy you have to be more available, take the lead more often and maybe even give him the first kiss. Keep in mind, however, that he needs to be responding very positively to each of your moves.


The Frisky -- Whether it's sitting in silence during dinner or enduring the long, uncomfortable pauses when he's out with you and your friends, dating a shy guy can create some incredibly frustrating situations. If you're seeking out his expressive side, try meeting up with him on his turf, an expert suggests. What you might not realize, however, is that inspiring an introverted date to open up is surprisingly simple. Here are a few of Kirschner's hints on how to encourage your guy to take a walk on the wildly talkative side:. When a shy guy is in his element, odds are he's feeling pretty self-confident, which bodes well for the likelihood of his opening up.

Ways to Get a Shy Man to Open Up

After a few minutes of us talking, he told me he was going to finish working out and before he left I had my phone number written down on a piece of paper. Don't ever comment on how shy or quiet they seem Shy and quiet people hate this. One night, he was working out right where he could see me, I ended up grabbing weights in that same area and we ran into each other. And she in turn makes him a better man. Any tips for a very confused girl?

Getting to know a shy guy and gain his trust can lead to an exciting and rewarding Asking him to join you and a group of friends is a non-threatening way to start. It's great to show interest, but don't walk up as a total stranger and give him a.

And the worst part is that a shy guy may like you a lot, and still not do anything about it even if you make the first move. A shy guy may feel confident enough to sneak glances at you now and then, but he may be too timid to actually ask you out, or even initiate a conversation with you. Make the guy feel comfortable about exchanging glances and looking at you frequently. Stare at him often, and as soon as you catch his eye, look away and smile to yourself. Displaying your shy side will make him feel more comfortable with the idea of talking to you.

Inside The Mind Of Guys Who Are Shy And Inexperienced With Women


How to bring a shy guy out of his shell






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